Friday, February 02, 2007
Women more critical of men
Nobody would dispute that, in selecting a mate, women are more discerning than men. This is an evolutionary necessity–a woman must carefully evaluate who is likely to remain loyal to her and protect and provide for her and her children. If a man and a woman go on a blind date and don’t hit it off, the man will shrug and say “it went OK.” The woman will give five reasons why he’s not right for her.
A woman’s discerning, critical nature doesn’t disappear on her wedding day. Most marital problems and marriage counseling sessions revolve around why the wife is unhappy with her husband, even though they could just as easily be about why the husband is unhappy with the wife. In this common pre-divorce scenario there are only two possibilities-either she’s a great wife and he’s a lousy husband, or she’s far more critical of him than he is of her. Usually it’s the latter.
Despite this week’s media homilies, it’s doubtful that many men or women are truly happy alone. Much of women’s cheerful “I don’t need a man/I love my cats” reaction has a hollow ring to it, and sounds a lot more like whistling in the dark than a celebration.
Yes, there are some men who make poor mates, but not nearly enough to account for the divorce epidemic and the decline of marriage. While it’s easy and popular to blame men, many of the wounds women bear from failed relationships and loneliness are self-inflicted. [Emphasis added.]
A lot of lonely women bought into the fish/bicycle paradigm years ago. The feminist effort to drive a wedge between the sexes is built upon a very deeply ingrained habit of the female sex. Hyper-criticism. Rather than living in the echo chamber I hope many women will realize that men are not that bad, they are not that great, and we are both better off together.
At least for the time being.